Sinking in the Shadows Read online

  Tara instantly sits up on the couch and her mouth drops open. “What did Marek do? Did he turn you away and say he didn’t want a child? That bastard. I’m going to beat his ass. The little shit.”

  As much as the situation sucks right now, her sister’s anger is rather comical. Tinley starts crying again, only this time it’s because she’s laughing so hard. “Calm down momma bear, there’s more to my story. I would really like to see you try to beat Marek up, though there’s no way Clark would ever let you attempt something like that while you’re pregnant, and no offense, but he’s not exactly the fittest guy around. Do you not remember what Marek’s arms look like? Not somebody your husband should try to go up against.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve made grown men cry before, and I’m not against doing it again.”

  “Let’s hold off on beating anyone up for now, at least until I finish telling you everything that’s going on.”

  She relaxes back against the pillows on the couch and motions with her hand for Tinley to continue talking.

  “When I went into work today, I found out that Marek had called in sick. So, I decided to take him some soup and cupcakes to make him feel better. Like I said earlier, I’ve never been to his house, but I found out where he lives with a quick Google search.”

  “Geez, such a stalker.”

  If only that was Tinley’s only problem right now.

  Rolling her eyes, she smiles at her sister and continues. “Anyway, I got to Marek’s house—which is adorable by the way—rang the doorbell, and you’ll never guess who answered the door.”

  Her sister gasps and says, “Was it that snarky bitch Giselle? Was she trying to stake her claim again? Not like she would need to with how gorgeous she is.”

  Tinley laughs while shaking her head. “No. It was a little girl about four or five years old. Her name is Luna…and she’s Marek’s daughter.”

  This time Tara flies up completely and almost falls off the couch. “What do you mean his daughter? Who is her mother? Is it Giselle? That bitch. I bet it is.”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t stay long enough to talk to him,” Tinley replies with a small shrug. She doesn’t add the fact that she had the same thought about Luna being Marek and Giselle’s daughter. There’s no denying how much of a resemblance the woman shares with the little girl.

  Before Tara can say anything else, Tinley’s phone rings for the tenth time since she left Marek’s house, and she sends this call to voicemail like she has with each one prior. At some point, he has to just give up, and until that happens, she’s more than happy to wait him out—or she’ll get lucky and he’ll just fill up her inbox then won’t be able to leave any more messages. It’s not like she ever gets phone calls anyway; everyone she knows sends her texts these days.

  Tara glances down at the phone in Tinley’s lap before returning her focus to her face. “Is that him?”

  She doesn’t even have the energy to open her mouth for a response so she offers her sister a small nod instead. She feels so completely lost and confused. How did things get to be so bad so quickly?

  Marek: Tinley, I know you were here.

  * * *

  Marek: You can’t avoid me forever. We need to talk.

  The text comes across her phone screen, and Tinley can’t decide whether she wants to scream, cry, or shatter the damn thing against the wall. The defeat overwhelms her and she does the only thing she can think of.

  Me: Leave me alone. I need time.

  Although she doesn’t really see how time can help the situation at all. How can her sitting on this information make things better? Marek lied to her, but maybe he’ll stop trying to reach out to her if he thinks there is still a chance? Just in case, she decides to send him a second text.

  Me: Don’t try getting a hold of me again. I’m shutting my phone off.

  She doesn’t wait to see if he decides to respond or not. Instead, she presses the off button and watches as her screen slowly fades to black as it powers down. The whole day has been a giant disaster, and she doesn’t even know what she should be feeling right now. She’s angry at Marek for keeping such a huge secret from her and the potential other lies he could be telling her as well. She’s mad at herself for putting so much blind faith into another person and trusting with her entire heart, and she’s confused about the fact that she’s both terrified and excited about her unknown future. Never in her life has she had plans to be a mom, but now that there’s a tiny human growing inside of her, she wants to live that life more than anything. She had hoped it would include Marek, but now she has to prepare herself for doing it all on her own. She has no idea how that’s going to work out or happen, but she’s almost thirty, and it’s about time she finally grew up anyway.

  Her sister releases a small sigh and places her hand on Tinley’s. “I love you, you know that, and I know you’re upset right now, but you can’t avoid him forever. There’s obviously a lot you both need to talk to each other about.”

  “I know, but I need time.”

  “And that’s fine. I’m your big sister and I will always support you, but this isn’t just about you anymore. While you’re taking your time, I want you to think about what you want, what’s best for not only you but for your baby as well.”

  As if on instinct, Tinley’s hand gravitates toward her belly. She’s barely had enough time to get used to the idea of being pregnant and yet she has major decisions to make that affect not only her life but her unborn child’s as well. It all seems so intimidating, and she’s terrified that she won’t make the right choices when the time comes. But she’s a mom now, even if her baby isn’t born yet, and she needs to embrace that role to it’s fullest.

  “Why don’t you go lie down for a bit? You look more exhausted than I feel, and I think a nap will help you calm down and maybe get a little more clarity on the situation.”

  Now that her sister mentions it, she feels completely beaten down and tired. She nods her head and gets up from the recliner she’s sitting in. Her entire body sags and her eyes start to droop now that some of the adrenaline pumping through her body has left. This day has been very exhausting, and being pregnant probably doesn’t help at all. She offers her sister a sad smile and drags herself upstairs to the guest bedroom. Within minutes of her head hitting the pillow, she’s overwhelmed by sleep and it quickly takes over. For once she hopes for a dreamless sleep as she can’t imagine her dreams being anything positive.

  Chapter Three

  Laughter from downstairs carries up to Tinley as she slowly peels her eyes open. She’s disorientated for a few minutes before the events of the day come slamming back to her and she remembers coming to her sister’s house, which is why she’s currently curled up in a ball in the spare bedroom. She pushes herself up in bed and the motion from moving too quickly flips her stomach. Tinley’s mouth fills with putrid saliva and her hand flies to her mouth. She instantly drops down to the floor, grabs for the small wastebasket beside her, and empties what little is sitting in her stomach. The burn from the bile coats her throat in the worst way possible.

  Sweat drenches her face and her stomach tosses and turns with uneasiness which does nothing in helping her feel better. After retching up just about everything but her organs, she falls back and relaxes her body against the side of the bed. The familiarity of a cold sweat sets in and a chill travels down her spine. Even though she knows it’s not open, her gaze travels toward the window to double check. A small throw hangs over the edge of the bed and she pulls it down wrapping it around her shoulders like a lifeline. No matter how tightly she tugs it closed it isn’t enough to bring in warmth.

  A cynical laugh falls from her lips as she continues looking outside and sees the semi-darkness flowing in through the window. They call it morning sickness, but that’s just about the only time Tinley doesn’t get sick, at least so far. More often than not, she’s blowing chunks at dinner time than enjoying a nice meal of saltines and ginger ale. Sh
e quickly pulls herself together, brushing her teeth and washing her face in the en-suite bathroom before heading downstairs to investigate.

  As she steps off the last stair and walks into the living room, she’s shocked to find Dakota sitting with her sister. Neither one of them seems to notice she’s walked into the room as they continue on with their conversation, but both of their heads turn her way when she asks, “What are you doing here?”

  Tara instantly stands up from her spot on the couch and says, “I called her. I’m fine with you staying here with me if that’s what you need to do, but you can’t continue keeping secrets from Dakota. She’s your best friend, Tinley, and you need her by your side right now too.”

  As Tinley takes a seat in the recliner next to the couch, Tara leaves the room, so it’s just Tinley alone with her roommate. The air becomes thick with awkward silence. She tries to avoid eye contact with Dakota which makes everything worse instead of better.

  “Tinley, what’s going on? What is Tara talking about?”

  Tinley glares at the wall to the next room where her sister is currently at and contemplates how much she wants to tell Dakota. They’ve always told each other everything in the past, but she doesn’t feel comfortable telling anyone else about the pregnancy before she talks to Marek first. She feels bad enough about telling Tara, but she had to talk to someone before she ended up going crazy.

  “I wasn’t a hundred percent truthful with you when I told you about my speed dating dates.”

  “Ooookay?” Dakota polishes off her glass of wine and sets it on the coffee table. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Well…I may have mentioned all of the dates I went on…except one.”

  “No big deal. You didn’t have to give me a play-by-play of your entire evening. I assumed you just gave me the most exciting highlights.”

  She almost starts laughing but knows that’s probably the last thing she should be doing right now. Besides, if she did start laughing, it wouldn’t make any sense to Dakota. She takes a slow breath and swallows down the laugh. “You don’t get it. I’ve been seeing someone…or at least I was. I’m not really sure what the status of our relationship will be now.”

  “I’m a little confused now, but I’m sure you had your reasons for keeping the relationship a secret. So, why are you telling me this now?”

  If her sister were in the room, she would totally give her the stink eye. The only reason she’s saying anything to Dakota is because Tara called her. She would much rather continue wallowing and try to figure everything out with Marek on her own. The last thing she wants to do is involve her best friend in this, especially with how much Dakota despises Marek.

  “Dakota, it was Marek.”

  “What was Marek? Now you’ve completely lost me.”

  She sighs heavily and says, “The date I purposely didn’t tell you about…it’s because it was with Marek. I’ve been seeing him.”

  “As in Marek Outlaw? Super douche? King of the frat dicks at work? That Marek?”

  “And you’ve just proven my point about why I decided not to tell you about it. I know how you feel about him and didn’t want your judgment tainting my potential relationship. I don’t need that kind of drama in my life.”

  “You’re kidding me right now, right? This is just some elaborate joke you’ve got going on.” She gets up from the couch and starts circling the room, looking behind curtains and furniture before turning back to Tinley. “Is Ashton Kutcher going to jump out of a closet and tell me I’m being Punk’d or something?”

  The ridiculousness of that question almost has Tinley laughing. Is Dakota being for real right now? Punk’d? Sometimes she can’t even deal with the shit that comes out of her best friends mouth. “Seriously Dakota? Do you think if Ashton Kutcher were here right now I would be sitting in my sister’s living room telling you I’m dating Marek? Don’t you think I would have come up with something a little more interesting than that?”

  Then Dakota starts laughing. She walks back to the couch and picks up her wine glass. She sniffs the empty contents then places it back on the coffee table again. Her laughs get louder and louder, causing Tara to come walking back into the room. Tinley shrugs when she sees her sister’s alarmed expression, and eventually, her best friend stops laughing.

  “I’m sorry, but either I was just drugged or you’re even stupider than I thought you were. Really Tinley? No wonder you’re all wallowing and upset. What did the dick do? Hump and dump? Or did it even get that far? Did he play you? Pretend that he wanted to be with you and then drop you cold? Sounds like something that dick would do.”

  Tara shakes her head and starts to say something, but Tinley raises her hand and stops her sister. She knew Dakota wouldn’t understand, and honestly, she’s not a fan of the way she’s reacting. Even if that were the case, you’d think, as Tinley’s best friend, she would be a little more sensitive about the topic. She’s definitely not telling Dakota about the pregnancy now.

  “Not that it’s really any of your business, but no, that’s not what happened at all. He kept the fact that he has a daughter from me and I’m currently not speaking to him, not the other way around, but it’s nice to know how little you think of me. We’re not in high school anymore Dakota, we’re almost thirty and Marek is a thirty-five-year-old man, he’s not the person you think he is.”

  Dakota’s face turns bright red and she bows her head. Her voice is slightly muffled as she refuses to give Tinley eye contact. “I’m sorry, that was rude. It’s just a little shocking, you know? How did you think I would react?”

  “Honestly, that was pretty on par with what I expected, which is why I kept the information from you in the first place. I wanted to see if things got serious first.”

  “And did they get serious?”

  Tinley can’t help her cynical laugh as she says, “Besides him lying to me? The L-word was exchanged, so if you consider that serious, then yeah, things got pretty serious.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  She shrugs because she honestly doesn’t know what she’s going to do, not at all. But even if she did, talking about it with Dakota is the last thing she wants to do.

  Tinley goes back to scrolling through Netflix as her fourth movie of the day comes to a close. After she dropped the bomb about Marek last night, the conversation got awkward and Dakota made an excuse about needing to go home. Tinley decided to stick around at Tara’s house rather than face any more uncomfortable conversations with her roommate. She’s supposed to be at work right now, but it didn’t take much effort for her to get her shifts covered by other people, and instead, she’s spending her time eating all of her sister’s food and binge-watching 80s movies on Netflix. There are definitely worse ways she could be spending her day.

  When Tara walks into the room with a basket full of laundry, Tinley whines to her sister as she sits down on the couch.

  “Why can’t I have Jake Ryan show up outside of a church for me? Or Ferris Bueller serenade me during a massive parade? Or John Bender punch the air as he walks into the sunset because he got the girl, and that girl is me? Where are those guys and why can’t I get that kind of proclamation of love?”

  “Somebody has been watching too many John Hughes movies. Maybe you should cool off on the 80s bingeing marathon, and on that tub of ice cream.” She grabs said tub from Tinley’s hands and replaces it with a bowl of grapes.

  She scowls at the offending substitute and reaches to get the container back, but her sister smacks her hand and digs into the deliciousness that is The Tonight Dough from Ben & Jerry’s. With a sad pout, she pops a healthy grape of the non-wine variety into her mouth. “Easy for you to say—the father of your baby loves you.”

  “Hold it right there.” She drops the spoon back into the container and turns with a fierceness on her face that Tinley’s never seen before. “There’s absolutely nothing easy about marriage. Most days I want to wring Clark’s neck, and he feels the exact same way abo
ut me. Yes, we love each other and would do anything for each other, but that doesn’t change the fact that we work on our relationship every day. It’s not a walk in the park, and you’re forgetting one minor detail.”

  “Yeah, what’s that?”

  “Clark knows I’m pregnant. You can’t sit here wallowing on my couch, stuffing your face with junk and bingeing movies and expect Marek to come to your rescue. You told him to leave you alone, and that’s exactly what he’s doing—giving you space. If you can honestly tell me that you don’t think he would be right by your side helping you through your pregnancy then maybe he isn’t the right guy for you. But you’re not even giving him the chance to make that choice. And that right there tells me more about your character than his.”

  “But—”

  “But nothing. Tinley, you know I love you, but sometimes you can be really stupid. You know that right?”

  Tinley’s mouth falls open. “Gee thanks, sis. Tell me how you really feel.”

  “I don’t mean to make you feel bad, but shit, you’re almost thirty years old—don’t you think you’re getting a little too old for dumb drama like this?”

  “Dumb drama? Is that really what you think about everything I’m going through?”

  “No, I don’t, but I do think you’re creating a bigger issue than necessary by avoiding things. That’s what I think.”

  Tinley knows her sister is right, but it’s so much easier to ignore it all than do anything about it. For the millionth time in the past few months, Tinley can’t help but think that adulthood is way too hard.